My wife was home for the day with a torn meniscus, and I was getting ready to record a yoga class for a friend and a studio. While I was setting up in the open space in front of the kitchen, she was blending something up and let me know she’d be done in 23 seconds. But would it be okay if she was in the kitchen (and video) while I recorded? Of course, I said. 15 minutes into the class, after our dog yapping like crazy several times and lots of ambient kitchen clinks and dinks, I stopped the video and told Lisa, with an attitude and a little frustration, I’d have to start it over, as the noises would be too distracting. I share this husband fail, because lately I’ve been learning to Love myself well for the first time in my life, and in a Yoga Teacher Training I’m finishing up we’ve been talking about the 3 Abodes of Love. The better these 3 energies, directions, or aspects of Love are balanced and harmonized; the better things go.
The 3 rhythms of Love I’m talking about could be summed up by “yes”, “no”, and “ahh”, or shining and giving your Love, setting healthy boundaries, and plugging into the Source of Love. One aspect of Lovingkindness is sharing our gifts, compassion, and care with others. Another is realizing when wisdom says to say “no”, create space, take a timeout, wait for emotions to calm, ask for or state what you want and need, clearly state expectations, or even end something. A final feature of Love is plugging our hearts into the Higher Power we understand to be the Source of the Love that animates the world, which brings a deep (and sometimes almost overwhelming) sense of both peace and joyousness. While these 3 rhythms of Love don’t need to be perfectly balanced (i.e. equal), I do find they need to be harmonized. When they’re not playing well together, or one is absent, things go awry, like they did with me and my wife.
A big part of my learning to Love myself well is by saying “no”, creating space when necessary, clearly communicating my hopes, wants, and needs (big one for me), and other boundary related aspects of this energy. So, while it was good for me to speak up for myself about my yoga video to Lisa, it was not a great time for it (she JUST tore her meniscus), I didn’t express it in a particularly kind and calm manner, and I know my wife is sensitive. Love, and its rhythms, is like music, in that sometimes it’s good for the guitar to have a solo, other times it’s appropriate for only the drums and bass to be playing, at moments it’s sweet when all the instruments are participating equally, and so on. Love is like that, and the moment with my wife called for me to turn the “No” volume of Love down (another great part of learning to do this well!).
Overall, have you noticed one of Love’s rhythms lacking in your life? As I have with the boundary setting portion. How about in specific instances? Can you relate to my description of Love being like a musical performance here? I hope this blesses you and you have a beautiful day!
If you enjoyed this you can sign up for email notifications of future blogs on the top right. Additionally, I have a Facebook page where I regularly post articles, blogs, quotes, meditations, etc. to encourage us to more Light and Love. Again, to the top right there’s a link for you to “Like” the page, as well as my Instagram account if you’re interested. ❤