Love First … and Ask Questions Later

I did a 9/11 Reflection ride on the Peloton the other day—and amidst the many tears—two lessons from that time, which speak to today’s hurt and polarization, came to me: BE WITH and BE IN. To be with is when, no matter one’s religion, race, politics, gender, sexuality, etc., we 100% have each other’s backs. To be in is … Continue reading Love First … and Ask Questions Later

The Good News of Realizing I’m My Worst Enemy

Recently I had a couple super hard conversations. Without going into details that aren’t mine to share, they were the kind that you know in advance could go super sideways. Know what I mean? Want to guess what the most stressful, angsty, and worst part of both was? The pre-conversation dread and fear of the … Continue reading The Good News of Realizing I’m My Worst Enemy

Love is a Gateway Drug

Do you ever struggle with doing something you know you should, and even want to do? That was me when it came to being kind and compassionate, and caring well for others, until about 15 years ago. What changed me? Like drill sergeants of kindness, the people of Valley Bible Fellowship spoke, displayed, and invited … Continue reading Love is a Gateway Drug

How a Log and Stranger Reminded Me Life is a Team Sport

This log, and a stranger, reminded me life is a team sport. Lisa and I were partway into a hike when we came to this stream. Skeptically, I gazed at it thinking: I don’t think I have the balance to walk across this without falling into the water and getting hurt. As I doubtfully looked … Continue reading How a Log and Stranger Reminded Me Life is a Team Sport

My Disability and Unexpected Healing

Perhaps the worst part of being disabled is how it separates and ostracizes me from others. Imagine having no depth perception or peripheral vision—and because of that being unable to drive, having difficulty walking on uneven terrain (like beaches and trails), having a real tough time navigating cities and crowds, and being much slower at … Continue reading My Disability and Unexpected Healing

Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

While the types of seeds, nutrients, and protections we put in a garden determine the fruits, veggies, and flowers it will grow; the thoughts, mentalities, and beliefs we cultivate in our minds shape who we become. For instance, while decades of valuing winning made me quite competitive, sometimes in unkind ways, years of championing unity is making … Continue reading Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

Flourishing Through Life’s Hardships

I was lost, lonely, empty, and confused for a stretch of time during, and after my second divorce. I didn’t know why she’d picked that path, and couldn’t make sense of it. Reflecting deeply on my part and how I could learn and grow from it, though, was what brought me back to “life”, so … Continue reading Flourishing Through Life’s Hardships

The Power of the Pause

Love resides in the pause. What I mean by that is while my first words, or reaction, to something I disagree with, don't like, or feel pressure or opposition from are generally not helpful or are unkind: Pausing, breathing, and giving my thoughts time to settle, creates space for love to move in. Can you relate? In many … Continue reading The Power of the Pause

Vulnerability is the New Strength

For years I hurt my family, friends, and self by being solely the strong, silent type. You see, I bought into the notions that silence was strength, vulnerability was weakness, and control was power. Now, though, I believe: Sharing is strength, vulnerability is courageous, and open-heartedness is power. Why? While there are a number of reasons, Jesus … Continue reading Vulnerability is the New Strength

Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

What do you do with hurtful or hard words from others? While part of me likes to ruminate on them, defend myself, and/or formulate comebacks that will "show them", my real self knows there's a better way: Reframing. Beginning with the awareness that love is the point, and life is a laboratory for learning to love well, … Continue reading Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones