Finding Purpose and Healing in Shame

What do you do with your shame stories?  When my dad was a boy his father, who he had a special connection with, was killed overseas.  My mom was adopted and never met her bio parents.  When I was a boy my parents divorced, and since my dad was in the Army, I was separated … Continue reading Finding Purpose and Healing in Shame

An Exceedingly Helpful Tip for Ending Our Blame and Shame Cycles

As long as a single person is lost, I am lost. To try to save myself by getting free from the mass of the damned (Augustine’s massa damnata), and becoming good by myself, is to be both damned and absurd—as well as antichrist. Christ descended into hell to show that He willed to be lost … Continue reading An Exceedingly Helpful Tip for Ending Our Blame and Shame Cycles

Meditation on the Power of “Names”

Growing up there were times when I HATED my name.  Some kids, whose hurts led them down the path of bullying, would ridicule me by making fun of it.  They twisted Lang Charters into "Fang Farters", for instance.  As an adult, someone very close to me would name certain things I did, like licking a … Continue reading Meditation on the Power of “Names”

A Case for Naming Ourselves “Beloved” Instead of “Sinners”: Shame Doesn’t Belong in the Reign of Love

We become what we think about. - Earl Nightingale   Recently a friend of mine was having a REALLY hard day and tearfully shared with me: “What is WRONG with ME?” The story isn’t mine to tell, so I’ll just say my confidant was heartbroken and disoriented. As we talked for a while my heart … Continue reading A Case for Naming Ourselves “Beloved” Instead of “Sinners”: Shame Doesn’t Belong in the Reign of Love