Unwrapping the Gift of You

The other day, Lisa told me: "One lifetime with you isn't enough." 🥰 That might be the most loving thing anyone has told me! I share that, not only to celebrate our love and partnership, but also because I think it points to a life truth: YOU are an endlessly knowable, magical, miracle of amazingness. Words, titles, societal pressures, labels, … Continue reading Unwrapping the Gift of You

Love is Messy: Getting Uncomfortable to Get “Fit”

You know how we regularly struggle and sweat to get physically fit? Increasingly, it seems to me the same is true for relational “fitness” … and might even be a key to healing our political, racial, and other divides. In other words: Real love is messy. It embraces uncomfortableness by courageously choosing to vulnerably share our scary stuff, … Continue reading Love is Messy: Getting Uncomfortable to Get “Fit”

Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

While the types of seeds, nutrients, and protections we put in a garden determine the fruits, veggies, and flowers it will grow; the thoughts, mentalities, and beliefs we cultivate in our minds shape who we become. For instance, while decades of valuing winning made me quite competitive, sometimes in unkind ways, years of championing unity is making … Continue reading Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

Flourishing Through Life’s Hardships

I was lost, lonely, empty, and confused for a stretch of time during, and after my second divorce. I didn’t know why she’d picked that path, and couldn’t make sense of it. Reflecting deeply on my part and how I could learn and grow from it, though, was what brought me back to “life”, so … Continue reading Flourishing Through Life’s Hardships

The Power of the Pause

Love resides in the pause. What I mean by that is while my first words, or reaction, to something I disagree with, don't like, or feel pressure or opposition from are generally not helpful or are unkind: Pausing, breathing, and giving my thoughts time to settle, creates space for love to move in. Can you relate? In many … Continue reading The Power of the Pause

Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

What do you do with hurtful or hard words from others? While part of me likes to ruminate on them, defend myself, and/or formulate comebacks that will "show them", my real self knows there's a better way: Reframing. Beginning with the awareness that love is the point, and life is a laboratory for learning to love well, … Continue reading Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

Good is Enough (and So are YOU!)

Good is enough … and so are YOU! In middle school I yearned to be a championship winning NBA player. In high school I planned to win a Nobel Prize. In college I intended to be rich. In the air force I worked to make a name for myself. In trying to be a pastor, I … Continue reading Good is Enough (and So are YOU!)

GMa’s Gift of Inspiration

My grandma Pearlette, lovingly called "GMa", turned 90 this month. Which means she grew up during the Great Depression and WWII. It blows my mind how much she had to do to get a good education and establish herself in the world! What is more, when my dad was in elementary school, her husband was … Continue reading GMa’s Gift of Inspiration

Trust the Goodness

"I wish I had a relationship like that." In our nearly 5 years together, people have said some form of that to Lisa and I more times than I can count on my fingers and toes. While I don't believe in formulas when it comes to relationships, I would also say: Trust the goodness. Trusting a partner, … Continue reading Trust the Goodness

From Finger-Pointing and Fighting to Forgiving

What would the world look like if we switched from finger-pointing and fighting to forgiving? What would change in your life? Honestly, many of the most debilitating and painful moments in my life came when I didn’t forgive someone (or myself), or when I authentically asked for, yet didn’t receive it. Desmond Tutu titled a book No … Continue reading From Finger-Pointing and Fighting to Forgiving