How a Log and Stranger Reminded Me Life is a Team Sport

This log, and a stranger, reminded me life is a team sport. Lisa and I were partway into a hike when we came to this stream. Skeptically, I gazed at it thinking: I don’t think I have the balance to walk across this without falling into the water and getting hurt. As I doubtfully looked … Continue reading How a Log and Stranger Reminded Me Life is a Team Sport

Unwrapping the Gift of You

The other day, Lisa told me: "One lifetime with you isn't enough." 🥰 That might be the most loving thing anyone has told me! I share that, not only to celebrate our love and partnership, but also because I think it points to a life truth: YOU are an endlessly knowable, magical, miracle of amazingness. Words, titles, societal pressures, labels, … Continue reading Unwrapping the Gift of You

Love is Messy: Getting Uncomfortable to Get “Fit”

You know how we regularly struggle and sweat to get physically fit? Increasingly, it seems to me the same is true for relational “fitness” … and might even be a key to healing our political, racial, and other divides. In other words: Real love is messy. It embraces uncomfortableness by courageously choosing to vulnerably share our scary stuff, … Continue reading Love is Messy: Getting Uncomfortable to Get “Fit”

Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

While the types of seeds, nutrients, and protections we put in a garden determine the fruits, veggies, and flowers it will grow; the thoughts, mentalities, and beliefs we cultivate in our minds shape who we become. For instance, while decades of valuing winning made me quite competitive, sometimes in unkind ways, years of championing unity is making … Continue reading Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

Vulnerability is the New Strength

For years I hurt my family, friends, and self by being solely the strong, silent type. You see, I bought into the notions that silence was strength, vulnerability was weakness, and control was power. Now, though, I believe: Sharing is strength, vulnerability is courageous, and open-heartedness is power. Why? While there are a number of reasons, Jesus … Continue reading Vulnerability is the New Strength

Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

What do you do with hurtful or hard words from others? While part of me likes to ruminate on them, defend myself, and/or formulate comebacks that will "show them", my real self knows there's a better way: Reframing. Beginning with the awareness that love is the point, and life is a laboratory for learning to love well, … Continue reading Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

Trust the Goodness

"I wish I had a relationship like that." In our nearly 5 years together, people have said some form of that to Lisa and I more times than I can count on my fingers and toes. While I don't believe in formulas when it comes to relationships, I would also say: Trust the goodness. Trusting a partner, … Continue reading Trust the Goodness

From Finger-Pointing and Fighting to Forgiving

What would the world look like if we switched from finger-pointing and fighting to forgiving? What would change in your life? Honestly, many of the most debilitating and painful moments in my life came when I didn’t forgive someone (or myself), or when I authentically asked for, yet didn’t receive it. Desmond Tutu titled a book No … Continue reading From Finger-Pointing and Fighting to Forgiving

The Practice of Letting Go

One of the hardest and most rewarding things to do in life is to let go. Like parents often do, I had notions of who and how my daughter would be ... yet, to hold Lara to my vision for her, is to limit the rainbow splendor of creative possibilities that is this magical 16-year-old. … Continue reading The Practice of Letting Go

Life is Like Kayaking, Enjoy the Journey

With a wink and a smile, I offer this: Life is like kayaking, enjoy the journey. Why? Glad you asked! 😉 On a glorious spring morning, my wife and I paddled out onto the Hood Canal. As the sun smiled on us, we could see the Olympic mountains peering down on mirrorlike waters. With peace hanging in … Continue reading Life is Like Kayaking, Enjoy the Journey