Accepting Awkwardness Creates Awesomeness

Avoidance is the best policy, right? 😂 While I spent much of my life “running” from sadness, anger, fear, frustration, and the like, I’ve realized: Radical acceptance of the awkward stuff, not avoidance, is the path to flourishing. In many ways, the Lorde concert I just went to was a masterful artistic audiovisual illustration of this truth. Midway through the performance, … Continue reading Accepting Awkwardness Creates Awesomeness

Our Deepest Truth

If I could say one thing to you, it’s this: YOU are Loved/Love. Now and forever, no matter what, you are deeply loved—more than words can express. And, when we peel away the mess and muck of life, I believe the deepest truth of each of us is love. We came from love, are made to … Continue reading Our Deepest Truth

Grieving the Life I Lost

13 years ago today, the amazing life I had ended. In the blink of an eye, a quite successful career flying for the air force (where I also got to teach the best of the best) vanished, as did the future plans and dreams of my then fiancée (now ex-wife) and I. While life doesn’t … Continue reading Grieving the Life I Lost

Love is Messy: Getting Uncomfortable to Get “Fit”

You know how we regularly struggle and sweat to get physically fit? Increasingly, it seems to me the same is true for relational “fitness” … and might even be a key to healing our political, racial, and other divides. In other words: Real love is messy. It embraces uncomfortableness by courageously choosing to vulnerably share our scary stuff, … Continue reading Love is Messy: Getting Uncomfortable to Get “Fit”

Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

While the types of seeds, nutrients, and protections we put in a garden determine the fruits, veggies, and flowers it will grow; the thoughts, mentalities, and beliefs we cultivate in our minds shape who we become. For instance, while decades of valuing winning made me quite competitive, sometimes in unkind ways, years of championing unity is making … Continue reading Gardening Our Minds for Goodness

The Power of the Pause

Love resides in the pause. What I mean by that is while my first words, or reaction, to something I disagree with, don't like, or feel pressure or opposition from are generally not helpful or are unkind: Pausing, breathing, and giving my thoughts time to settle, creates space for love to move in. Can you relate? In many … Continue reading The Power of the Pause

Vulnerability is the New Strength

For years I hurt my family, friends, and self by being solely the strong, silent type. You see, I bought into the notions that silence was strength, vulnerability was weakness, and control was power. Now, though, I believe: Sharing is strength, vulnerability is courageous, and open-heartedness is power. Why? While there are a number of reasons, Jesus … Continue reading Vulnerability is the New Strength

Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

What do you do with hurtful or hard words from others? While part of me likes to ruminate on them, defend myself, and/or formulate comebacks that will "show them", my real self knows there's a better way: Reframing. Beginning with the awareness that love is the point, and life is a laboratory for learning to love well, … Continue reading Transforming Hurtful/Hard Words Into Helpful Ones

Good is Enough (and So are YOU!)

Good is enough … and so are YOU! In middle school I yearned to be a championship winning NBA player. In high school I planned to win a Nobel Prize. In college I intended to be rich. In the air force I worked to make a name for myself. In trying to be a pastor, I … Continue reading Good is Enough (and So are YOU!)

GMa’s Gift of Inspiration

My grandma Pearlette, lovingly called "GMa", turned 90 this month. Which means she grew up during the Great Depression and WWII. It blows my mind how much she had to do to get a good education and establish herself in the world! What is more, when my dad was in elementary school, her husband was … Continue reading GMa’s Gift of Inspiration